S. Roy / Tony Loves Kelly

In the article by Sandip Roy, I find it interesting how the internet contributed a lot to the queer community of South Asian.  The internet was used to create social networking amongst queer South Asian.  Moreover, the internet was used for safe-space, organizing, social events, counseling and activism.  In the context of the queer experiences of South Asian folks, there is a distinction between the experiences of the diaspora community and queer community in South Asia.  So there is a conflict because everyone’s priority some times do not align.  For instance, diaspora community are fighting for visibility in the United States such that their identity as Indian and queer are notice.  As for queers in India, they are fighting for their queer identity since their ethnic identity is given.  So to connect the various experiences, the internet has been used to create the alignment and sharing of stories.  The internet has been a place for other queer folks to meet each other.  Based on my personal experience, I heavily resonate with the process of interacting queer folks through apps even though there are some negative connotation.   Since I live in a heteronormative society, it is often a challenge to look for spaces that are automatically meant for me.  Even though there are few clubs that are dedicated to queer folks, you could only be a certain age to give access to clubbing, which leaves out the younger demographics.  In additions, spaces that are allocated towards queer folks are still skeptical because they still heavily influenced by heteronormative structure.  The spaces are still opened for non-queer folks to participate which can be a dominant heteronormative space.  In addition, it is more of a challenge to assume someone’s sexual identity based on phenotype, clothes and personalities because it often leads to misunderstanding.  To confirm someone’s identity, apps and web gives me the space to confirm someone’s queer identity.  For instance, I am able to connect with other “gay” guys on Tindr because Tindr given me the option to only connect with gay guys. 

                  In the film Tony Loves Kelly, it documents the daily lives of a teenager Iu Mien couple and their experiences as young parent who try to adjust to the American society.  Kelly tries to balance he cultural identity with her American identity.  When she got pregnant at a young age, that stalled her from going to college right after high school.  This reminds me of the stereotype that is placed on Southeast Asian girls which they are expected to be involved in sexual activities.  Being part of a community that lacks resources, Southeast Asian girls are not aware of the sexual activity that can lead to other pathways.  In this case, having a kid at a young age in the United States can pushed them back in further to pursue the “American Dream.” Based on my observation amongst my family members, women in my family fall into the gender social norm of depending on the male to be bread winners.  They become accustom to the ideology that is taught in the community.  Kelly, on the other hand, is trying to do things for herself in order to provide her own support.  She does this by trying to pursue higher education, which is not normalize in the SEA community.